Choose your friends wisely. That is a statement I heard from my mother quite a few times while growing up, and it still rings true for me today. You should choose your friends wisely; your friends spend time with you, and you don’t want to be surrounded by people who aren’t moving in the same direction as you or people who pull you down constantly. We are judged by who we hang around with too – whether that is fair or not – so think about your reputation when it comes time to make a new friend.
Even when you have taken care to choose your friends wisely, and you feel good about your friendships, the time will come when one or a couple of your friendships will seem a lot more like work than fun. Granted, relationships are not always easy, and sometimes it takes some work to keep up a friendship, but some friendships are tougher than others. When these times come, you have to take peoples’ situations into consideration – are they just going through a tough time right now? If so, then be there for them, and let them know that your friendship is there, no matter what. However, if neither one of you is going through anything at the moment, and your friendship just seems like pulling teeth, maybe it’s time to talk.
It can hurt to let a friendship go, but sometimes its just not worth it to hang on. Think about it this way: some people are brought into our lives to stay, while some are only with us for a little bit, while still others only bless our lives for a few days. Sometimes friendships are not meant to be lifelong deals. Think about it; if you had kept up every friendship since preschool, you wouldn’t have time for much else! It is healthy to grow in and out of friendships, as long as you still have 1 or 2 close and dear friends – the kind that are there for life.
If you don’t feel ready to let the friendship go, but are still having some issues, then you need to think about talking to your friend. However, before taking this step, think about how your friend would react to what you have to say. Is it worth it to bring up the problem, or would it only make an already difficult situation more difficult? If the problem you are having is merely that you need more time away from that person, then don’t be afraid to say no sometimes when they ask you if you want to do something. Don’t say no all of the time of course, but it is perfectly normal to need some time apart from someone, even if they are your friend.
If you think your friend will be okay with you bringing up an issue that you have, than by all means, go for it. Just be careful how you word things and make sure that you still tell them how much you value their friendship and want to work things out.